A Digital Markets Act Day poem

’Twas the night before the Act, when all through the EU,
A few tech giants were stirring, a new future in view.
Regulations were drafted by the Commission with care,
In hopes fair competition soon would be there.

The third-parties nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of open markets danced in their heads.
And I with my laptop, having read the decree,
Had just settled down for what was about to be.

When out on the Web, there arose such a clatter,
I launched Mastodon to see what was the matter.
Away to Techmeme, I flew with a click,
Opened new tabs, to absorb the news quick.

The moon on the cusp of the new regulation’s birth,
Gave a luster of hope to the watchers of Earth.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But designated gatekeepers, with a message so clear.

Malicious compliance, so banal and on brand,
I knew in a moment St. Vestager must stand.
More rapid than eagles, threats of fines came.
She whistled and sighed and called them by name:

“Now, Alphabet! Now, Amazon! Now, Apple and ByteDance!
On, Meta! On, Microsoft! It’s time to advance!
To the end of your chokehold! To the end of your stonewall!
Now comply away! Comply away! Comply away all!”

To be continued... Happy DMA to all and to all a fair fight!

Context: The Digital Markets Act went into effect for the first round of designated gatekeepers on 2024-03-07. A legal review from Open Web Advocacy covers where gatekeepers are failing to comply with the DMA on day 1 and the changes app developers still need.

Header image modified version of an image by the European Commission.

Written with assistance from ChatGPT, which was less helpful than I had hoped.